The Right Way to Complain

Yes, there is a right way to complain and there is a wrong way to complain, so, no, not all complaining is bad.

Complain first to God and not to man.

There may be occasional times where it is right and necessary to complain to men, that is to give out constructive kind criticism, but most people have the order backwards. We usually complain first to men and then if at all complain to God. On top of that we complain to the wrong men, not the person involved, but other people, as in gossip or talking behind someone’s back.

And, yes, there is a scriptural principle in complaining to God. David did it.

I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. Psalm 142:2 KJV

And, no, there is no evidence that God was displeased with it. Take a look at the surrounding scriptures for yourself.

Do not stop at complaining to God until you get it all out and until you get to a place of praise.

This is probably the more common of the two problems. Some people have no trouble complaining to God, and in fact they do it all the time, blaming Him for things that are not His fault. But what a lot of people do is not stay in His Presence long enough to stop and listen to what He has to say or stay in His Presence long enough to get all of their complaints out so that they can get to a place of praising Him. If you take a look at David’s psalms you will see that he frequently starts out in a sort of complaining type of mode but always always always ends up praising God at the end. That is the key. Stay there until you can praise Him. And then do it. Actually spend some time in praise.

God wants us to pour out our hearts to Him, to give Him all your thoughts, all your emotions, not leave anything back. This is being honest with God.

Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him:…Psalm 62:8 KJV

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Comments

The Right Way to Complain — 12 Comments

Mary Collins on November 24, 2014 at 6:41 pm said:

Cheryl,
Excellent post. Loved the way you supported your main thoughts scripture. You are absolutely correct. There is a right way to complain. Thank you for reminding us.

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- Cheryl Cope on November 25, 2014 at 10:04 am said:
  
  If we don’t EVER “complain” then we are holding things back from God. But I am not advocating an unruly spirit that blames and accuses God recklessly and endlessly without resolve—getting it resolved is the point! The balance is if you DO have feelings that need to be dealt with we have to be free to bring them to God and not forbid people from EVER saying anything that looks like a blaming or accusation against God.
  
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April Boyer on November 26, 2014 at 6:24 pm said:

Perfect advice! How often do our prayer meetings – either alone or in groups- start out as complaints, and end with complaints!

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- Cheryl Cope on November 29, 2014 at 12:19 pm said:
  
  Exactly, what we end up with is so important.
  
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Lisa Rios on November 26, 2014 at 8:58 pm said:

I very much agree that God wants us to pour all our problems to him. But mostly human mentality is that we prefer man first. And many of us honestly forgot to praise him when all goes well.

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- Cheryl Cope on November 29, 2014 at 12:20 pm said:
  
  Yes, I agree, we sometimes merely forget, which unfortunately doesn’t excuse it.
  
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Amy Hagerup on November 28, 2014 at 11:28 am said:

Cheryl, Pouring out our complaints to God is a great reminder because we do “default’ to complaining to humans instead. God already knows our hearts anyway, so what we are telling Him, isn’t new news anyway. I think we need to share our hearts with Him in the expectation that He can do something about it! Thanks, Amy

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- Cheryl Cope on November 29, 2014 at 12:23 pm said:
  
  Yes, expectantly and it does help US to share things with God.
  
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Kristi Miller on December 1, 2014 at 8:54 am said:

Excellent post, Cheryl. I really like that you say don’t stop until you end at a place of praise. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” The praise and thanksgiving part is so important and so healing. Thanks for posting!

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- Cheryl Cope on December 1, 2014 at 10:19 am said:
  
  Yes, it is. Thanks for commenting.
  
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Tara Joy on December 1, 2014 at 4:44 pm said:

Wow! This hit home with me! I have such a hard time with complaining to my husband and instead I need to “complain to God until it is all out and I can praise!” I will be working on complaining only to God and not to my husband!! Hopefully this will help the tone of our marriage!

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- Cheryl Cope on December 2, 2014 at 10:22 am said:
  
  Most people need a little help in this area. Hope it does improve your marriage!
  
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