PerfectionismGuest blog post by Debbie Luxton
Perfectionism is a trap we can so easily fall into. And, when we do, it hurts us and those around us. Checkout the 3 categories below.
Where do you fall?:
– You know and admit you are a perfectionist
– You’ve just realized you may be a perfectionist
– You know you are not a perfectionist (everyone else is the problem)
You may now be thinking, hmmmm. Maybe I am a perfectionist. What does that mean, exactly? Here is something I read in a book that really got me thinking about this:
Excellence expands our world, whereas perfectionism shrinks it.
Excellence gathers valuable information, takes decisive action, pushes beyond self-imposed limitations, and searches for greater possibilities. It expands us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, and it commits us to uplifting the lives of others. (Can I get a “YES!”).
Perfectionism obsesses over details to the point of paralysis and capitulates to fear by sidestepping challenges. It causes our spirits to shrivel and imposes rigid rules and regulations upon others. ~ Quoted from No More Letting Go by Debra Jay.
Wow, I had to read that multiple times because it hits me right between the eyes! The more I thought about it, I could see where perfectionism can creep it’s way in; even to the point of believing that what I am doing is a good thing.
Some of us have been very overt in our perfectionism and frankly, we’re quite proud of it. Our perfectionism has masqueraded as “getting the job done right”. How sad, when it makes the people around us feel belittled and likely, put down. Perfectionism is a killer in multiple ways. It takes away from our integrity and gives no credit to others. It certainly gives no honor to our Lord.
I dealt with perfectionism a long time ago; so I thought. Like I said, after reading this excellent material by Debra Jay, I could see how it still exists in it’s sneaky little way. I never thought of reloading the dishwasher after my daughter had already done so as perfectionism. I thought I was just wanting to get more dishes in the dishwasher, so I’d take it upon myself to do the rearranging of the dishes. Now, who did that benefit? Certainly doesn’t benefit her since I didn’t give her the learning opportunity. Certainly didn’t benefit me as a peep of frustration escapes over having to “rearrange” the dishes (to what I thought was a better solution; no doubt!).
Galatians 3:3 in the Amplified Bible states: Are you so foolish and so senseless and so silly? Having begun [your new life spiritually] with the [Holy] Spirit, are you now reaching perfection [by dependence] on the flesh?
This too hits me right between the eyes. Only Jesus offers perfection. This, in my flesh I will never be.
I love the contrast Debra Jay makes between excellence and perfectionism. I am going to really try and keep this at a high awareness. Anyone else out there have a need to focus on excellence instead of perfectionism?
Debbie Luxton is a Christian Life & Leadership Coach, Teacher and Speaker for BUSY Professional Women ~ Specializing in women who “have it all together on the outside, while falling apart on the inside.”
Debbie is a Founding Partner and Certified Independent Coach with The John Maxwell Team. She is a small business owner of Truth for Life’s Journey, Co-leads a Celebrate Recovery Ministry and serves on the Missouri Recovery Network Board of Directors. Debbie is a member of the National Association for Professional Women, is a contributing author in the 2011 book; Inspired Women Succeed and retired from a 30 year Fortune 500 corporate career.
Debbie is passionate about living to serve as the Lord has called her and for you to know that “A disillusioned, unmanageable, no time for God or yourself life is NOT what you were designed for!”
Primary Website: http://debbieluxton.com
Deb offers a FREE Stress to Serenity Breakthrough Kit at http://truthforlifesjourney.